Getting back to normal one day at a time

Scott has come home for 5-9 hours each of the last 4 days! It has been so good to have him home. I’ve loved answering the kids requests by saying “Go ask your Dad”!!!!! It is such a blessing and relief to feel like I’m sharing the responsibility of parenting again. It feels pretty normal when Scott is home. I like normal. Scott even went to church on Sunday. It was the first time in 5 and a half months! He stayed the whole time and loved being there. I’m starting to really reflect on time. Some days have dragged on and felt like eternity. In 2 days it will be 3 months since the heart transplant. It will also be his 166th day in the hospital. My whole life has changed during this experience. Scott has changed too. We aren’t who we were. I hope we’re better. I know that I have learned to be more compassionate from all of the compassion I have received. I am still learning patience. I’ve definitely learned gratitude and humility too. I try not to ask: Why me/us. Why did we get this trial? Why did Scott make it when others don’t? Why do things take so long? I’m learning to just be grateful for each day and trying to not worry about the things I can’t control. I guess it is easier to look back and be grateful. It isn’t always easy in the tough moments. Those moments don’t seem quite so devastating now that I’ve heard Scott laugh, felt his arms around me and watched him with our children. Now I can really say that it was all worth it!