Gratitude

Life is good! Maybe even great. The promised changes are happening. Sometimes it still stops me in my tracks – Scott has a new heart!!! This heart is healthy. I sometimes think back – especially to the year before his transplant. I always knew Scott had a heart problem but it never seemed like a big deal to me. He was just Scott. His slowing down physically was quite gradual to me. We just got used to it. Scott complained very little. He just kept on trucking. We got used to the fact that he just moved slower than most and needed frequent rests. Now I know that Scott was experiencing heart failure – his heart wasn’t providing adequately for his body. It now makes sense to me why he had such a terrible time in Las Vegas last summer. Did you ever notice as you walk around the hotels that the only place there is to sit is at gambling stations?! So when we walked around as a family Scott would become VERY tired and want to sit down. We don’t gamble and we had our kids with us so Scott wasn’t allowed to sit in any of the thousands of available chairs while walking through the enormous casinos!! He never wants to go to Vegas again!

We were able to go on a vacation already this summer. We attended the Hornberger Family Reunion in Summerland, B.C. We had a wonderful time! We had been preparing to attend while Scott was doing dialysis and we were trying to figure out how he could do dialysis there. I am so grateful that his kidneys have recovered enough that we didn’t need to transport dialysis equipment on our trip or spend time doing dialysis there! The human body really is amazing!

Scott only has one tube left in his body. He still has the peritoneal dialysis line in his abdomen. He couldn’t go in the water on our trip which was a bummer and he still can’t shower. On Monday we meet with the nephrologist again. Scott’s dream is that she will recommend removing that line. Last time we met with her she said that was a possibility. Then Scott will be totally TUBE FREE!!!! No picc line, no dialysis lines, no oxygen, no dopamine, no IVs, no chest tubes…NOTHING. Nothing to clean, maintain or possibly cause infections! I can hardly wait.

It has almost been 6 months since the transplant. One year ago I had absolutely no idea what was in store for our family. I have learned so much. I have never felt so afraid and overwhelmed as I have this year BUT I also have never felt so loved and supported. It still isn’t always easy. Scott will always have many, many medications to take and bloodwork to be drawn and biopsies and clinic appointments. He will have to be very aware of his own body and health. But it is such a small price to pay for this new opportunity.

Just one more note as I am just going on and on. I often think of the family of the person from whom Scott’s new heart came. They must still feel such pain and loss. Six months is not much time to ease the pain of loss. Yet in a time of deep anguish they chose to give us such a gift! Again I am overwhelmed with gratitude. The blessings in my life are so tremendous and numerous that I can’t begin to number them. Just know that my gratitude runs deep.